When choosing yourself doesn’t feel good (here’s what might be happening)
You finally decide to choose yourself… and instead of feeling free, you feel off. Doubt creeps in. Resistance rises. Meet your personal glass ceiling — the one you didn’t even know was there.
When things should feel good… but don’t
Once I made the unwavering decision to thrive on my terms, I expected things to feel expansive. Lighter. More free.
I was determined.
You know that part in most Hollywood films where the character is resolved, the upbeat music kicks in, and a quick montage shows them taking action, step by step, until suddenly… the music stops, and they’ve made it?
I was expecting that.
Except reality is different.
What I didn’t expect was the wave of discomfort that followed. The second-guessing. The need to explain myself. The urge to shrink, apologise, or pause—just when things were finally moving forward.
I had wanted this growth. I had chosen it.
So why did it feel so uncomfortable?
If I was clear on my decision to live fully and fulfil my potential…
Why did it feel so hard to keep going?
The personal glass ceiling no one talks about
We often think of the “glass ceiling” as something external: systemic barriers, workplace politics, gendered bias. And those absolutely exist.
But what I see over and over again—in myself, and in the quietly ambitious women I work with—is a different kind of ceiling:
The internal one.
Built not only by society, but by years of playing by the rules. Of being good, reliable, competent, agreeable. The kind of woman who doesn’t cause trouble. Who keeps things running smoothly. Who over-delivers quietly and asks for little in return.
This is your personal glass ceiling—the invisible boundary between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.
And for quietly ambitious women, it can be especially hard to break.
Why?
Because you’re not just up against external expectations.
You’re also navigating your own deeply ingrained beliefs: your emotions, your introspective nature, your desire for certainty and harmony.
It’s a double bind: your ambition says “go,” but your conditioning whispers, “don’t make waves.”
That’s what I call the Quietly Ambitious Woman’s Conundrum.
You want to step into more—but you’re afraid of what that “more” might cost you.
Why growth often triggers resistance
That discomfort doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.
It usually means you’re finally on the right one.
Because when you start choosing yourself—your values, your desires, your next-level self—you don’t just outgrow old patterns. You begin to outgrow identities.
And sometimes, even relationships—not just with people, but with your work, your finances, your sense of control.
You begin to unlearn your learned helplessness.
You begin to release outdated beliefs and fixed narratives.
You begin to redefine what’s possible for you.
It’s not easy. It’s not always celebrated. And it often feels lonely to question the status quo and step out of the roles you’ve outgrown.
No wonder that’s when resistance kicks in. Quietly, subtly, but powerfully.
Urging you to stop whatever “foolish” thing you’re thinking of doing.
It might sound like:
“What if I become too much?”
“Who am I to want more?”
“If I change, will I still belong?”
“What if I lose myself in this?”
If any of that feels familiar—you’re not alone.
How to know you’re hitting your personal glass ceiling
Here are a few subtle signs you might be brushing up against your own invisible barrier:
You overthink every decision, even the exciting ones
You want to move forward, but keep waiting to “feel ready”
You start minimising your goals to feel safer
You downplay your wins, fearing they’re “too much”
You stay in jobs, dynamics, or routines that no longer fit
You tell yourself you’re “just being realistic”—but deep down, you feel stuck
This is not you failing.
This is you feeling the stretch of growth.
And recognising it is the first step to breaking through.
What cracks the glass (for real)
Breaking your personal glass ceiling doesn’t require a bold leap.
It starts with something quieter—but equally powerful:
A steady willingness to keep choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Knowing the only way forward is through.
Having faith that what’s next for you is already forming.
Here’s what that looked like for me:
Saying yes to aligned opportunities even when I felt unqualified
Creating new boundaries without over-explaining or justifying myself
Speaking up instead of bottling things in for the sake of peace
Letting myself want more, without guilt
Honouring my pace even when the world told me to hurry
It wasn’t always graceful. But it was defining.
And each of those choices cracked, and keep cracking, the glass a little further.
What if you’re not stuck—you’re expanding?
You don’t need to wait until the fear disappears.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
And you definitely don’t need to shrink back into what’s familiar.
What if this resistance isn’t a stop sign—but proof that you’re evolving?
What if you’re not regressing, but redefining?
What if your discomfort isn’t something to fix, but gentle proof that you’re outgrowing a version of yourself that was never meant to stay small?
Because here’s the truth:
Growth can feel like resistance when you’ve been trained to stay where it’s safe.
And in the next issue, we’ll dig even deeper into the root of that training—good girl conditioning—and how it silently reinforces your personal glass ceiling.
Until then, keep stretching. Keep choosing. Keep listening to the voice that says:
More is possible.
Here’s to thriving… your way, obviously 😉
À très bientôt,
Nathalie
Now, I’d love to hear from you:
Have you ever felt yourself pull back just as things were starting to go well?
Or send me a message if that feels more comfortable. I always read and reply.
Want to go deeper?
🌱 Take the free Thrive Your Way Assessment to uncover exactly where you’re stuck, what’s holding you back—and your best next step to thrive professionally and financially on your terms.
🌿 Ready to cut through the resistance and move forward with clarity and focus? Book your Jumpstart Session: a 90-minute deep dive to get unstuck and walk away with a clear, strategic action plan for your most pressing professional challenge?
And coming soon…
🌪️ Curious why your mind won’t switch off when it’s time to step up?
My upcoming Stop Overthinking, Start Moving workshop will help you understand what's really driving that mental spiral beneath the surface — and how to interrupt it so you can create purposeful, sustainable momentum.
Register your interest here and be the first to know when it’s available.
📌 P.S. If this post resonated with you, I’d be so grateful if you restacked it or shared it with someone who might need to hear it too.
Let’s help more quietly ambitious women break through their personal glass ceiling and find their way to thriving professionally and financially on their terms!